Black Friday

It seemed like a nice day.  The morning held lots of promise.  It was Friday and the first day summer.  It was bright, sunny and warm.  The drive to work seemed to fly by and I even got to work early enough to get a bit of a head start on the day.  Later that day my wife and I would be leaving for a wedding out of town.  There had been a lot of stress at work the past week or so due to the introduction of a new system that was leaving much to be desired. 

Let’s face it.  I make no secret that I am not happy in my current career position.  I do, however, try to do a good job and I get very frustrated when the line of communication between management and worker are not kept open and clear.  So many issues in work places could be resolved just by letting staff know what is happening.  If there are problems, when will they be fixed?  If the way you do your job is affected then here is what the company is going to do to make it work.  When those simple things don’t happen I begin to boil. 

I guess that may have had something to do with the beginning of my Black Friday along with the fact that I had just marked three years since the lay off and two year at my latest job.  I should be proud of the two years.  I have struggled and have made head way but I know that I don’t belong there.  No, I do not think that I am too good to work there.  Over all it is a good company and I work with great people.  I just don’t belong there.  So as that sunk in, my mood got darker and my productively got worse.  So at 3pm I left, hoping that a few hours at home would calm my nerves. 

Now, one of the worse things that you can do when you are in a black place is to go be by yourself for any long period of time.  Anyone who gets in these moods knows what I am talking of.  Sure, take 15 minutes or a half hour but after that do something positive for yourself.  Visit a friend.  Complete a chore.  Don’t do what I did.  I fell asleep.  By the time I woke I was anxious and felt sick.  But it was time to go to the wedding.  All I could think about was “Who wants to be around my dark cloud?”  But I did not want to disappoint my wife so I splashed some water on my face and off we went.

It was the best thing I could have done.  I was forced to be around people.  Happy, joyous people who were celebrating the love of two crazy, fun loving people.   Now, I did not go from black to bright in a snap of a finger but slowly, through the touching ceremony and then the gleeful  reception, I felt my mood lighten.  By 11 o’clock I was mentally drained.  I needed rest.  So I went back to the trailer we had stored on site and went to bed.  I read and listened to music for 20 minutes until my eye lids were drooping just right and by Saturday morning the Blackness was gone.

So that’s the lesson.  When the mood hits, take a moment to acknowledge it and then get up and do something positive.  It will make you feel better.  I promise.