How Lazy am I?

As a child I do not remember getting that many chores when I was young.  Being the fourth child of a very busy Mother and Father, I was often left to my own devices.  Sure, I’d shovel the sidewalk of snow at our Henry Street address.  That was about 15 - 20 feet of sidewalk which did not offer much of a challenge or work out.  By the time we moved to Young Street in my final year of High School I mowed the postage stamp sized lawn.  That took about 20 minutes.  But I was never asked to do anything “hard” or “back breaking”.  So I watched TV and read.

My love affair with the tube and books certainly led me to my career choice in Television Broadcasting and I am grateful for that.  In the early days at the community channel I remember joyfully putting in extra hours, sometimes not having a day off for three weeks.  For a time, in the late 80’s and early 90’s, I even had another part time job with the CBC as a cameraman and editor.  It was not unusual for me to work up to 16 hours some days. 

At some point I think I just got tired.  I know that I burned myself out and started to dislike my job.  I see now that this was more than likely a depressive episode.  I would get myself assigned to another task and after a month or two I got the creative itch again.  As my career progressed with the community channel it was harder and harder to move back into a position where I could be a creative producer.  My last promotion was likely one of the biggest mistakes I ever made career wise.  Becoming a manager was not the direction I should have gone.  At the time I wanted to become part of the decision making team and work towards a better channel.  I thought management was the best way to do that.  I was wrong.

What has all this got to do with being lazy?   As my depression came to the surface my desire to participate sank.  Sleeping, watching TV and reading became my crutches.  That’s a very hard thing for me to admit.  Now, don’t you think for one moment that I think that reading and watching TV are bad.  These are past times that I enjoy immensely.  It’s just that you can have too much of a good thing.  There is much more to life than what can be read in a book or shown on a screen.  Staying active and getting involved with a community group have helped me greatly.

As I look towards getting back on track with my chosen career in Television I do have fears that I will fail.  This is natural.  I don’t believe that I am lazy.  My past tells me that I am not.  I do always look for better, more efficient ways of doing things.  That helps everyone.   Is that lazy?  I don't think so.  I do know this.  The creativity is back and someone out there is going to benefit from it big time!

Stay tuned.