The journey of ten thousand steps takes a lot longer than some of us would like it to. I have been writing this blog for seven months but my efforts to get better have taken a great deal longer. For every good day there are three or four bad ones. For every accomplishment there are a dozen set backs. The depression seems to be winning on some days but on others I feel it waning. I look everywhere for ideas to help me defeat the beast that consumes.
There are so many areas that, as a depressed person, I should and do work on every day. Some days I just think about what I should do, other days I actually do something to step a little closer to the daylight. I have been reading Gabrielle Bernstein's Spirit Junkie http://gabbyb.tv/ . In it she talks about how, as we grow from infancy to adulthood, Fear takes over our lives. It forces the Love from us and our Ego tells us that we are not good enough. Gabrielle tells us that for years she lived in a state of Fear and after enough was enough she began to let Love return to her life. In the book, when she refers to Love she is not speaking of the type of love you have for a family member, spouse or child. She is speaking of a Love that lets you accept yourself for who you are and allows you to experience all of life's joys.
I am only one chapter in and I feel connected with what this woman says. I came across the book by accident. On my birthday I was given two gift certificated to a book store. I felt the cards burning a hole in my pocket so the next day I headed to the Store. I checked out my favorite authors and then began wondering the store. In the middle aisle I found Gabrielle's book displayed amongst other self help type books. The picture on the cover shows the author, hands in pockets, smiling confidently. I picked it up and placed in with a pile of other books I had been considering. Now I had lot of choices. Spirit Junkie was not a sale book so it would take a big chunk out of my gift cards. If I put it back I could by two or three in it's place from the bargain bin. The choice was very easy. A quote on the book said "A beautiful book with a profound message: Choose Love". That is what I wanted to do so back went three of the bargain books.
My point is that there are always going to be opportunities to heal. We only need to read the signs that keep hitting us on the head.
(For those of you who thought I veered from my path with my last Blog Entry, no worries. Coming soon -- Rants & Raves. My second Blog that will allow me to spout off at the mouth about just about anything.)
