The ER Visit

      It was a week ago.  I sat down at my desk that morning with a stuffy nose but other wise felt fine.  It is not usual for my stuffy nose to be accompanied by some very loud and powerful sneezes.  Some of you may have been around to hear me sneeze while at the same time saying "excuse me".  It saves time, what can I say.  A half hour later the nose was clear and my morning was progressing.  An hour later my chest started to bother me.  It was very tight and made it difficult to breath.  Now, at my age and because I am not in the best shape, my mind will cross to "Is this a heart attack?"  I did not feel that it was but as the day went on, the pain worsened and my breathing did not improve.  I did take my blood pressure and the readings where what they usually are for me.
      After work I called my sister, who has a medical background.  She asked a couple of questions and then suggested that I put heat on my back and that I  call 811 and speak to a nurse.  I did not want to do that, mostly because the pain was now primarily on my right side and seemed to be worse in my back.  I debated and then relented.  I called 811 just to ease my mind.  The nurse asked me a series of questions, most of which I replied "No", and then strongly suggested I go to the hospital emergency.  So at this point my anxiety has had it's interest peaked.  Could this be a heart issue?  My wife had been out but arrived home by the time I was ready to go.
     Anyone who has ever visited an ER knows that you are likely in for a long night and this visit would be no exception.  I spoke to the nurse out front who took my history then to the lady who took my health card information then we sat down in the waiting room.  Within minutes I was called in.  Now my anxiety jumped up a notch.  Why was I getting in so fast.  They must be concerned.  Not really.  They just made us sit in another waiting room.  Luckily it was right in front of a nice big plasma TV and there was a comedy on to distract me.  That was good.  It ended three minutes later and a hospital show came on and the story line was about heart surgery.  That was bad.
     For the next three and a half hours we waited.  During that time the pain was actually getting less.  At times I relaxed and knew that whatever was going on it was not my heart.  At other times I tensed up and thought, "what have I done?"  I am not taking my health seriously.  So like many people in my situation, I made some decisions.  I had been under a great deal of stress with my own, self imposed deadlines regarding projects I was working on to get my TV career back on line and working with a local animal shelter and even this blog.  I decided that I would take a break from that and put more effort into my health.  I had begun a new diet and now I needed to work on the exercise.  I would give myself permission to miss deadlines and to fail so that I could make a move towards a better, healthier, me.
     About Two am I got to see the medical staff.  I had blood tests, EKG and x-rays.  When it was all said and done my doctor told me that I had sneezed so hard I had strained my chest wall.  I was not surprised because a few year earlier I did the same thing and threw my lower back out.  I stood beside the doctor as he was about to release me and we looked at my x-ray.  Feeling better I joked. "Look, I can see a face". I pointed at the lower right of the x-ray.  The doctor smirked at me and said "That's poop."
     We'll that about summed up my night.  POOP!

Muddled Mind

     A new year brings with it a desire to make changes in our lives.  Lose weight, be a better person, get that dream job, etc.  I think the stats say that only about 7% of people keep their resolutions due to a lack of will or the simple fact that they did not even want to try to make a change. 
     For myself, my life has been about wanting to make changes.  To be that better person or find that job that is meant to be.  My issue has always been distractions and focus.  For as long as I can remember I have been subject to procrastination and the very annoying trait, being overwhelmed by too many choices.  When you have too many things to choose from you often do not pick any of them because it is just that much easier.
    I am the king of lists.  I list lots of things.  Movies to watch, books to read, chores to get my wife to do.  (And my chores as well.)  List are a good tool only if you follow and keep working at them.  If not, then you just end up with a lot of lists.  Then you need a list of your lists that need attention.  Does this sound confusing?  We now you know how I feel about 80% of my day.  I suffer from what I like to call a "muddled mind".  It is the feeling that because there so much coming at me, my brain defends itself by putting up a shield.  That shield feels much like a heavy blanket.  It is warm and comfortable but it also restricts my movements.  It does not allow me to flow from one activity to another.  Instead I just lay there enjoying the warmth and  protection of the "shield".  Over the next few weeks and months I will be addressing this "affliction". 
      As always, never give up on yourself or if you know someone like me please do not give up on them.  Be supportive and understanding and when they ask for help, give it. Thanks and here's to 2014 being the year be all take down our "shields".