Fathers and Sons

     One of the most emotional moments I shared with my Father was a few months after my graduation for Fanshawe College's Television Broadcasting program.  I had just turned twenty-four and still had not found a job in my chosen field.  I was sitting on our backyard deck feeling very, very sorry for myself and my Dad came out and sat with me.  My emotions have always been close to the surface but I usually, like many kids, kept that part away from family.  Dad could sense that something was up and he quietly sat next to me and let me tell him all about it.  Anger, sadness, desperation and self doubt flowed like Niagara Falls.  The "Why Me's" were top of the list.  Had I made a mistake?  What was my life going to like?  Was I a failure!  I can't remember his exact words but it boiled down to "Everything is going to be alright.  You are a good person with a good heart and you will find your way."  Of course he was right.  Within a month I began to volunteer at the local Community Channel and with in six weeks I had a part time job there.  A little over six months later I had a full time job there and began a twenty-seven year career that I am very proud of.  Everything was alright.
     My son is going to be 20 years old in 59 days from me writing this post (Sept. 14, 2014).  Like the majority of young adults his age he is longing for complete independence from his parents.  I am looking forward to that day as well.  Not that I want to kick my son out of my house, I don't!  I want to know that, for him, "everything is going to be okay". 
      That's the other side that I did not see in 1984 when my Dad sat on the backyard deck with me.  He wasn't worried that I would not make it or that I was going to fail.  He had complete confidence in my ability as do I for my own son.  What I now know is that he could, no matter how hard he tried, take away my sadness and self doubt with a few words.  On that day I did not jump up smiling and say to Dad, "Wow, greet talk Dad.  Love you!"  I did not run up the street to the Community Channel and bang on the door.  It took me almost a month after that conversation to made the decision to go.  I needed to go when I was ready.
     Bottom line.  I want my son to know that "Everything is going to be Okay".  He is a good person with a good heart.  He is well liked and smart.  What ever is going on with him, he is not alone.  His Mom and I will always be there for him, even when he thinks we are a pain in the ass or nagging him.  That can't change.  I began writing this post thinking that the end result was me telling my boy that I was going to stay out of his business and just be there for him.  I am sorry, I wish I could but I am not done being a parent.  I have some good stuff left in me, least of all, my never ending love for him and the man he is today.  And if his mother and I say or do something that pisses him off, I want him to know that we do it because we can't help it.  We do it because we love him so very, very much and that "Everything is gong to be Alright!"