Foot In Mouth Disease

Some days you just can't help yourself.  You're feeling pretty good about yourself and you decide to crow.  I don't crow very often.  In the past, most days I didn't think much of myself.  I have always felt very uncomfortable with bragging.  We all know people who are more than willing to tell you that they are best thing since sliced bread. 

My last post I revealed that my doctor thought I might be A.D.D. and that I was likely highly intelligent.  Now, right after I posted that installment of this blog my wife read it and she looked at me with a very quizzical look.  She had not heard the doctor quite the same way I did.  What she heard was "Do you think your husband may be highly intelligent?"  Meaning ... if he is A.D.D. and he gets the proper meds his true potential could be realized.  Not ... Man this guy is smart.  I thought about it and begrudgingly had to admit that what I heard and what the doctor said maybe two different things.  I won't know until they decide to try meds and certainly there is a more than fifty-fifty chance that it won't make a bit of difference.

Bragging never pays.  Sooner or later you'll eat shoe leather.

I'm Sorry Doctor. I wasn't paying attention.

September has many meanings for many people.  For a lot of us it is the end of summer and the start of a new school year.  For others it a time to get ready for the colder weather.  For me it's time to see the my doctor for my annual check up.  This involves going over my current medication and especially important it is time for my Prostrate exam.  At forty I began having yearly blood tests to check for Prostrate Cancer and when I reached fifty my pants hit the floor and I began coughing.  I few minutes of discomfort is worth the peace of mind for another year.  To all my guy friends who are in their forties and fifties, I hope you are following suit.  PLEASE! 

So this past Monday I had my yearly appointment.  I asked my wife to go with me because I wanted to discuss my depression and anxiety.  While I have made strides in some areas I am frustrated about other areas and I wanted my partner along to back me up and to fill in any blanks in the conversation.  We sat across from our Doctor and she looked up from her computer and asked me if I had good grades in school.  I was puzzled but knew enough to answer the question so we wouldn't get off track.

I was an average student in school.  I was able to get the grades I needed in subjects I had little interest in and excelled in the subjects I enjoyed and displayed lots of interest.  In grade twelve I failed math and while I had enough credits to graduate high school, I would have to go to summer school to repeat math.  Those six weeks were the best time I have ever spent in a class room.  The teacher was fun and able to convey the lessons is such a way that everything just clicked.  I not only did well, I got a perfect mark on every test and the final exam which I finished in twenty minutes.  Dalhousie University offered me a scholarship if I agreed to continue with math as a subject.  (I did not.)

The doctor smiled at us and told me that she suspected that I was A.D.D.  Attention Deficit Disorder!  I was surprised and skeptical at the same time.  Could this be true?  It seems that many persons who are afflicted with ADD get depressed, especially if they go undiagnosed.  Imagine, thinking that you are stupid because you can't focus properly.  That would bring most to their knees. 

I am going to be exploring this going forward.  My favorite part of the doctor's visit was when she turned to my wife and asked her "I wonder if you agree with me that your husband has above average intelligence?"  She looked at me kind of nodded.  All I could think was "Oh my God.  How the hell am I going to live up to that?"

It's probably not true anyway.  But maybe it is???