Parenthood

     There is a wonderful show on NBC called Parenthood.  It is the saga of the Braverman family and how they deal with whatever life throws at them.  I like to watch this show alone.  It is a chance for me to expel emotions that have been bottled up in me for whatever reason.
     The most resent episode deals with the struggle we have as parents to let our kids grow up and deal with their own triumphs and disappointment.  Especially the disappointments.  I know I am not the only one who sees this striking close to home.  Many of my friends and family have kids that are near the end of High School or in a secondary education program of some kind.  It is hard to let go and to not step in and help.  It is also very hard, for me at least, to not look back at our tenure as a parent and wonder ... could I have done a better job.  The answer is obvious.  Yes.  We can always do a better job.  I could have communicated more.  I could have been there more.  I could have been stronger.  Is it too late?  How can you be a parent to your adult child?  I know, at their age, many kids don't want much to do with their parents.  Most guidance we try to give is looked at interference or with condemnation.  But still, we have to try, right?
     I look at my own son and see him struggling with life moments.  When he is hurt or disappointed I want to grab him and protect him.  I want to make everything okay .... but I can't.  It's his journey to make now.  His mom and I have done what we could and yes, as I said before, mistakes were made.  But when we see our son through the eyes of others we see a good man.  A man who is kind and has a strong sense of right and wrong.  Someone who is smart, even though he doubts that at times.  Someone who will be there for his friends whenever they need him.
     These years of a young adults life are the most amazing and most scary of their lives.  There will be lots of challenges ahead, but all these firsts that they are experiencing are the ones that will be their true tests.  As parents we are proud of all they have done and will do. The best we can do is be there when they ask for help or comfort.  To let them know that we love them and always will.
    

Hey! That's not fair!

     I love volleyball.  Since the first time I stepped on a court in grade six to right up to last night when I went to my weekly "pick up" game.  And to tell you the truth, last night was not that fun.  The blame for that is likely deep down in my DNA.   I hate it when things are not fair.  I mean I really, really hate it.
     For many, many years I played volleyball as a member of Coed Volleyball Nova Scotia.  I cherished  those years.  I met my wife playing in that league as well as many life long friends.  We had a blast.  It was always a fun time, even when the competition got heated.  I liked the competition.  I like to win as much as the next guy but more than that I love a great game.  One where everyone has a chance to win and you came away, win or lose, feeling like you gave it your best.  More than likely you played against some of your friends which was a fantastic bonus.
     Of course all good things must come to an end.  As the years pasted, most of us, as we aged, got injured or tired or had family obligations to take care of.  The last year that I played in the monthly tournaments was a tough one for me.  And I apologize to my then team mates as I say this, but my team sucked.  We did not gel as a team and more often than not, we beat ourselves.  But worse than that, I felt the tournaments were not being run fairly for the division I played in.  Let me explain...
     Ten teams registered to play each month.  Usually the same ten teams but sometimes new teams would show up.  That was cool.  Someone new to play against.  The monthly tournament was run by two court reps from the CVNS Executive.  I had been a member of that executive in the past for over 15 years.  I knew how to run a tournament but I had long since moved on and felt that it was time to let others do the work.  The understanding was that each court rep, who also played on a team, would each take a side of the gym.  Each side would have five teams who would play each other once and the top three teams would move on to the play offs.  Here was my issue.  The team I played on was one of the weakest teams.  Our captain, a lovely woman, was also one of the court reps.  The other court rep always did the line up.  He would decide who would play who.  That year, after about three months I noticed a pattern.  The court rep would set it up so that my team was always on his side of the gym.  We were a guaranteed win for him.  He wanted to make sure his team made the playoffs.  This went on for the full year.  Not once that year was there a court rep on both sides of the gym.  The last tournament of the year I had decided I had enough and complained to him.  He basically looked at me like ..."so what!"  Sadly I got no support and ended up looking like I was a big baby.  I left the gym that day and never returned to tournament volleyball.
     It drives me when people use a position of power to advance their cause at the expense of others.  I see it everyday as I am sure you do.  Even when it pertains to something a silly as a pick up volleyball game.  I should just enjoy it.  I got exercise.  I got out of the house.  What am I complaining about.  Still, I can't help myself ... it just is not fair.