An Honest talk about Friendship

     I want to talk about Friends.  No, not the TV show F*R*I*E*N*D*S, which is one of my most favorite shows.  The photo on the left is known as an attention grabber and also indulges my love for all things Television.  No, I want to talk about friends as it relates to myself.
     I re-read an older post, the Pain of Being a Wall Flower (Feb. 9, 2013).  It stunned me! Much of what I wrote there was a lie.  I am trying hard to remember why I wrote these inaccuracies?   Yes, I do regress into the background often but I do the same thing with my wife and son.  Even with them I zone out and conversations are short.   I am sure my wife said something at the time about the post, but I likely dismissed it or was in another world.  And outside of the family I am also not really listening many times to what is being said to me or around me.  I now know that it was ADHD affecting me.  It's not that I drop out of conversations, it's that I often don't hear them at all.  I am far, far away doing who knows what. 
      I can tell you that I have been trying to improve.  Now that I know why it happens, I do it I try to consciously engage in conversations.  I find that I am better at the one on one conversations than the group gab fests. 
      Now back to my "Friends" theme.  I have been wondering lately how this has affected my friendships over the years.  I sure many people have looked at me and thought that I was stuck up or uninterested in what they had to say.  No to both of those.  I just could not stay in the moment.  It was like someone had a rope tied around my waist and had yanked me away in mid talk.  I can think back on many situations with friends, family and colleagues, when potential friendships and career opportunities were lost.
      Any of my friends reading this may say that they did not notice it but I am sure if they thought of it, they would remember me as being more of a "listener" than contributing to the conversation.  I say to you, please, if you can, give me a verbal or even physical nudge.  Bring me back.  I don't want to be that person who drifts away and most certainly I don't want my wife affected because I come with the "package".   I want to be a part of your lives and to any new friends I have made recently and those to come ... don't be afraid to hit me up side the head.  I can do better.

Your Friend -- Mike