Good Days ... Bad Days

 

A clinically depressed person can go weeks, months, and in the extreme, years without experiencing a good day.  A day where you experience that amazing feeling of contentment and joy.  Where nothing bad happens and you are not reminded that you are in a hole.  I'm not talking about a visit to Disney or some other place of amusement.  On those days, any feelings of happiness are fleeting and artificial.  You can participate in events that are fun and to the outside world you seem fine.  But to the depressed person that darkness is still there.  Just resting for a moment until it has caught it's breath. 

For those who live with a person of depression those false good days are very deceiving.  You see a glimmer of hope.  You see that person you knew before.  Then, when suddenly they are walking around with that dark cloud above their heads, you can't understand what has happened.  "What the hell!!"  You were sure that this was it.  Your husband, wife, parent or friend was in the clear. They were back and and the life you imagined could take up where it left off.  You may be angry.  I don't blame you and more often than not the depressed person you know won't blame you either.  You do not deserve this.  You did not sign up for this.

There is hope.  I am proving it to myself and others everyday.  This blog has been a big part of the recovery process.  I am finally fighting back.  I am talking and reading and exploring what it is that has caused this depression to happen.  Over the last few months I have engaged other friends and professionals for help and I can honestly say that I feel better.  Am I now a non-depressed person?  No!  Not by a long shot.  I'm just saying I am having "real" good days.  I have been surprised to find myself laughing and smiling more and on occasion, that feeling of contentment.  It feels good.  So good that I want to do it again so I am going to continue to fight.  If you, the depressed person reading this, joins me in this fight I promise that it is possible to feel this way again.  I am not an expert in any way.  I believe that I will have this disease for the rest of my life but I know I can manage it so that it does not rule me and only appears on occasion.  If you know a person who is filled with depression or anxiety don't give up.  Help them fight.  Yeah, you will have those days where you are completely frustrated and just want to give up. Don't run away ... just go for a walk.  Go to the movies.  Do something that makes you feel good then come back, roll up your sleeves and dig in.  We'll thank you for it someday.